Write for your mum

In the previous post, I introduced perceptual fluency, the idea that the easier your thesis is to read, the more your marker will like it, and the smarter they'll judge you to be. Now let's get into the practical stuff. The first two levels: structure and words.

LEVEL 1: STRUCTURE

Now the idea that your introduction should be funnel shaped is probably not new, but it is really important. Your intro should start broad and gradually become more specific, moving from general context at the top to detailed rationale at the bottom.

Your first couple of paragraphs should set the scene. What is the problem? Why should we care? Why does it matter? Then you want to cover what do we already know about that problem? What does the literature say? Then you need to highlight what do we NOT know about that problem? Where is the gap? Finally, your rationale should fall naturally out of the funnel. How will your study address that gap in what we don’t know?

Your marker is expecting you to hold their hand on the way down this funnel. If your intro goes broad, then specific, then back to broad (if it's more of a curvy shape than a funnel) we get cranky. 

SO HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOUR FUNNEL IS WORKING?

Outline first. Write, then outline again.

Outlining your argument before you write is important. Start with a bullet-pointed plan. But here's the warning: writing is diagnostic. Even if you start with a perfectly funnel-shaped outline, you're unlikely to stick to it. Your thinking develops as you write and the structure of your argument often shifts along the way.

That's why you need to outline in both directions.

Write from an outline. Then, once you're finished, take your writing and reverse-engineer an outline from it. Read each paragraph and write one sentence describing what the point of that paragraph is. That way you'll be able to see whether you stuck to your original plan, and whether the actual shape of your argument is more curvy lady than funnel.

The reverse outline is one of the most efficient revision tools that almost no student uses. 

LEVEL 2: WORDS

There's a misconception that the bigger the words you use, the smarter you sound. It is the exact opposite.

The Oppenheimer study I mentioned in the last post really nails this. Students rated admission essays in which every second or third word had been replaced with a longer synonym as coming from less intelligent applicants. Trying to sound smart by using unnecessarily complex language works against you. In terms of creating perceptual fluency, the shorter and more concrete the words you use, the easier your writing is to read and the more your marker will like it.

Here are two examples:

"Findings are consistent with theoretical propositions suggesting that passive consumption of idealized social comparison targets via digital media platforms exerts a deleterious influence on affective self-evaluative processes among adolescent populations."

vs.

"Scrolling through social media made teenagers feel worse about themselves."

Same finding. One requires a deep breath. The other just lands. 

Another:

"Analyses revealed a statistically significant interaction effect, indicating that the association between chronic occupational stressor exposure and burnout symptomatology was moderated by individual differences in dispositional emotion regulation capacity, with the effect being attenuated among those reporting higher regulatory efficacy."

vs.

"Work stress predicted burnout, but only for people who struggle to manage their emotions."

Which author sounds like they really understand their results? 

WRITE FOR YOUR MUM

The goal is to write for someone like your mum, that is someone who is smart and genuinely interested but not at all familiar with your research area.

Go through your thesis and read it out loud. Find words that are more than three syllables long and look for shorter, more concrete alternatives. And use as few words as possible. Look at each sentence and ask yourself how many words could I delete here and still retain the message?

And be careful with jargon. Some technical terms are necessary. But if there are terms with multiple meanings, always use the simplest one. If jargon is used to sound impressive rather than to communicate precisely, it's just noise.

Using simple concrete language is not dumbing things down. It's communicating as clearly as you possibly can. That's actually a harder bar than writing in complicated language. It requires that you understand your material deeply enough to explain it simply, and that you care enough about your reader to make the effort.

Next in this series: sentences and paragraphs, including the zombie test and the topic sentence audit. This post is part of the Make the Moves Your Marker Expects series from Reveal Research. Head to revealresearch.org for upcoming workshops.